Dear Men

I want to talk and to be heard. Remember me for the opinions I have, not for how curvy my body is, or how I might be in your bed.

I want to be judged, not by the clothes I wear. Judge me for my words, my actions. I dare you.

I want my dreams to be as justified as yours. It doesn’t matter that I am evolutionarily built for child-bearing. I will not be your child-bearing machine.

I want you to enjoy my cooking. But know that I cook because I like to. It is neither my job nor my duty.

I want you to respect my uniqueness, because I will always reject and resent society’s standard stereotypes.

I want to be independent- emotionally, financially and every possible way. Be with me only if you like to be with me.

I want your acceptance, yes. But I don’t give a damn about your approval. The only approval I seek is my own.

I want you to tell me what you think. Don’t go soft on me, and know that I won’t either.

I want your assurance- in life, in the ring, in everything. But doubt me and I will do anything possible to prove you wrong.

I want your love, know that I will cherish it. But don’t cage me in its wake citing the evil in this world. Change the world!

I want to do all those things people tell me I shouldn’t because I’m a girl. I want to ride a bike, get a tattoo and trek the Himalayas with a bunch of strangers.

I want to be able to roam the streets at 12 a.m. because I want to, without having to be afraid.

I want you to respect what I want. Know that I also want humanity to be obliterated and dogs to rule in total anarchy.

It’s not about giving me more rights and reservations, because these only seek to widen the gulf between man and woman today.

It’s about where we stand in each other’s eyes. I will not worship you and you should not debase me for matters of biology and which chromosome made it to second base some twenty years ago.

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5 thoughts on “Dear Men

  1. Dear Writer;

    (I want to talk and to be heard. Remember me for the opinions I have, not for how curvy my body is, or how I might be in your bed.)

    Pssst! Most guys care about what you think and do listen. If your in his bed then your body is an asset not a hindrance. It means he likes you enough to be with you.

    (I want to be judged, not by the clothes I wear. Judge me for my words, my actions. I dare you.)

    Men do judge you, but not on the clothes. (Unless you wear yoga pants to a fancy five star restaurant, then we judge you on what you are wearing as inappropriate) Just as much as your words are. If you have something of interest to the guy he will sincerely listen to you.

    (I want my dreams to be as justified as yours. It doesn’t matter that I am evolutionarily built for child-bearing. I will not be your child-bearing machine.)

    Most men want their dreams fulfilled as well. We are not your meal ticket sperm donors. So use one of the many, many birth control products you have available, since we men only have one option. We really don’t want to have to support you or any unwanted child for the next 20 years, because you couldn’t take precautions.

    (I want you to enjoy my cooking. But know that I cook because I like to. It is neither my job nor my duty.)

    Well shit, you can cook! Most women now can’t. That’s a bonus. NO one ever, has ever thought it was a woman’s duty. Unless of course she is not working, and the man is working to support her and him and any children and is working 60 hours a week to keep the roof over our heads and to buy groceries. Then yeah, your duty is to cook. Either that or get a job. Men aren’t your meal ticket.

    I want to be independent- emotionally, financially and every possible way. Be with me only if you like to be with me.

    Emotionally independent means your not into the guy. Financially independent is a good thing. That means you will have no right to ask the guy for money for anything. I love this idea. We can go dutch!

    (I want your acceptance, yes. But I don’t give a damn about your approval. The only approval I seek is my own.)

    If you want my acceptance then you want my approval since they are pretty much the same thing. When someone approves of someone they are accepting that person. Example would be your parents accepting me into the family. This was because they approved of me.

    (I want you to tell me what you think. Don’t go soft on me, and know that I won’t either.)

    Women usually don’t go soft on men when it comes to telling them what they think. And I believe in equality so I will tell you how I feel. I won’t go soft on you. Even if you try using tears as a weapon when I tell you that you are being a bitch.

    (I want your assurance- in life, in the ring, in everything. But doubt me and I will do anything possible to prove you wrong.)

    What happened to you wanting to be independent? Now you want assurances? There are no assurances in life.

    (I want your love, know that I will cherish it. But don’t cage me in its wake citing the evil in this world. Change the world!)

    No problem. I treat women as equals. If some guy attacks you, or throws you around I can sit back and know with confidence you can handle it.

    (I want to do all those things people tell me I shouldn’t because I’m a girl. I want to ride a bike, get a tattoo and trek the Himalayas with a bunch of strangers.)

    I didn’t know women couldn’t ride bikes. I mean heck all those girl’s bikes in the stores must be for men then. Must be a marketing mistake. Tattoo? Damn… I’ll have to tell my female friend who is a tattoo artist that apparently women aren’t allowed to be tattoo’d in her shop. Or travel to exotic places for that matter. Glad you told me that women couldn’t do these things. I mean heck . It must suck being a girl.

    (I want to be able to roam the streets at 12 a.m. because I want to, without having to be afraid.)

    Well if your afraid you shouldn’t be. Stats show men are more likely to be attacked at night by both men and women. Women are actually statistically safer walking the streets at night. In fact, in all violent crimes, except rape, men are the bigger victims. From assaults, murder, armed robbery etc. And with rape the women are still safe walking the streets because in most causes of rape, the woman was raped by someone she knows. Not some stranger. So your safe baby!

    (I want you to respect what I want. Know that I also want humanity to be obliterated and dogs to rule in total anarchy.)

    Ummm,…. Can’t respect the destruction of the human race. Your on your own with that one.

    (It’s not about giving me more rights and reservations, because these only seek to widen the gulf between man and woman today.)

    And destroying humanity is going to bring us closer??

    (It’s about where we stand in each other’s eyes. I will not worship you and you should not debase me for matters of biology and which chromosome made it to second base some twenty years ago.)

    No man expects you to worship him. No man expects you to debase yourself. Not sure what your talking about with the chromosones making it to second base. That is not how biology works.

    You know…. I think I will end this here. Your to much work. I think I find a less crazy person. Have fun trying to destroy humanity, while hiding in your home because you are to afraid to walk outside at night, while working your job from home and listening to your canine overlords.

    Peace out.

    1. We are clearly from different cultures, and a lot of what I’ve said is relevant to where I’m from, where things work differently. I hope I can convey the same.

      Here, arranged marriages are the norm. Women are considered child-bearing machines and countless atrocities are committed on them when they don’t ‘produce’ a male child. Assuming your biology is spot on, I hope you can see the injustice.
      Where I come from, women are constantly judged on the basis of their appearance. Eve-teasing and molestation are things a lot of women are dealing with on a regular basis. A married woman is supposed to worship her husband in a lot of cultures.
      There is a difference between acceptance and approval and I urge you to look it up. The women in your life only need you to accept them with all their baggage, whether or not you approve of it.
      Also there’s a difference between being protective and being over protective. If you can watch someone (man or woman or otherwise) getting bullied about and beaten up without doing anything about it, man.. I feel sorry for you.
      Emotional independence doesn’t mean I’m not into the guy. It just means that I have an identity without him. It means that I am my own person just like he is.
      About the tattoos, bike riding and trekking and stuff, I cannot explain those to you, stranger. The men in my life know what they mean! They’re just some references that I can’t be bothered to explain.
      This post was about me trying to explain feminism as I understand it in a world where most people (women and men) are taking it to extremes.
      You represent the section that are tired of women constantly fighting about feminism and equal rights and all that when they really can’t deal with equality. I get it man, I really do.
      All I’m trying to say to the men in my life is that let me be whatever I want to be. That’s really it.
      I wasn’t inviting you in my life dude, so me being crazy or too much work shouldn’t concern you much really, should it?
      Also, your and you’re are two different words and you’re pretty much wrong in a lot of places. But let me be accepting of that, since no one really needs approval.

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