THE BIG FOUR:
In my opinion, the two best things one could feel are love and satisfaction. And the two worst- guilt and helplessness. Where love fills us with exuberance, helplessness saps the life out of us. Where satisfaction soothes us, guilt bogs us down. One can never always be satisfied, nor can one always remember to love. Similarly, one cannot always be guilty, and nor does one feel helpless all the time. So it can be safely said that all four of them exist in a sort of dynamic equilibrium, shifting themselves from time to time and becoming the sole decider of our mood, and emotion.
PERFECT AND IMPERFECT:
Humans generally aim for perfection. We want to be the best of our breed. “I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul” –Creep by Radiohead. For some of us, this perfection is a distant dream. We want it, but not so badly to let it overpower us and rule our actions. For the rest of us, attaining perfection is the sole purpose of our lives. Nevertheless, all of us dream of this perfect version of us. Question is, can we really drive ourselves to perfection? If there’s free will, there’s bound to be imperfections, aren’t there?
We all make impulsive decisions, talk rashly, or listen to our hearts once in a while. Sometimes, things work out. But when they don’t, we’re burdened with the same old guilt. We scold ourselves. We depress ourselves imploring how much better the situation could have been handled. Then comes the passage of time, time the healer of all wounds, the bezoar of all poisons. Time patiently teaches us that it is perfectly alright to make mistakes. Time tells us that unless we forgive ourselves, we cannot expect forgiveness from anyone else. But do we ever forgive ourselves? I say no. how do we become perfect if we forgive ourselves for our very imperfections?
Helplessness on the other hand, is the bigger of the two evils. It is, I say, more difficult to get over helplessness. The feeling of helplessness stays on even after the cause moves on. It haunts us. How does one get over the incapability of doing anything when the situation required them to act? How does one face circumstances watching someone need something, and having it, one cannot give it to them for whatever the reason is? Complex, isn’t it? What helps us here is will. Sheer will power and the ability to drive home that there was nothing, absolutely nothing that could have been done to salvage the situation.
Love is the thing that gives happiness to the saddest of souls. Love is the balm of Gilead, the balm of overwrought minds. Love for our family, friends, mentors, teachers… on a more general note, love for life, beauty, science, nature… A human being can find something to love in everything and everybody. Why so? Why do we love such a variety of things? I say, it is because we have learnt to accept things (and people) with their faults and their imperfections. I love my mother, but no, she is not perfect. Neither is by brother, my family, my friends, and so on. No thing and no one is perfect. Yet we love them. We learn to accept everyone with their imperfections.
If we accept the faults of others citing that no one is perfect, why then is it so difficult to do the same for ourselves? I think it is because we have an inborn habit of setting standards for ourselves. We want to excel in everything. We want to behave in a certain way. We want to come across in a particular way. And that is why we never accept our faults. We work on them. We try to improve them. The day we accept our faults, and over look our imperfections, is the day when we will begin to love ourselves. And that is when we become satisfied. Satisfaction is a short lived, rare, luxury. Very few have it, yet very few seek it. Satisfaction brings my thought process to an end- a complete circle. They’re all interrelated, aren’t they? Think about it. 🙂