Being a step mother is not easy; it is one of the toughest things in the world. The nine months that the baby spends in the mother’s womb is a boon because the mother, every day prepares herself for the baby. So when the baby is finally born, she’s ready for it. She knows what she has to do. She’s mentally, emotionally prepared. But getting a child without this preparation time is tough on the mother. Adopting is easier said than done.
We all know about the post partum depression syndrome. Ever heard of post adoption depression syndrome? Yeah. It exists. The mother feels insecure and depressed. She feels little about herself as she is unable to have that emotional attachment that biological parents have for their kids. She feels insecure and often doubts her self. Truth is she needs those nine months with her new child. She needs that time desperately, and she doesn’t have it. Instead she has a full grown baby, or a conscious, mature child under her care, and she has no idea how to fall in love with the child.
One of the most challenging tasks of life is becoming the mother of a conscious, mature child. I know two moms who did it, and trust me, they’re amazing. Going through the phase when the child rejects you, or when you just don’t know what to say to him or her, moving on to the friendly “hi”s and “how was your day?”s to the beautiful phase of “Bye mom. Love you”s –is a journey that is terrifying. Sounds easy. Sounds noble. But just stop a moment and imagine. It’s mammoth. IIT? Wait, that’s easier.
Adoption is one of the most noble things I’ve heard of. Bringing up someone else’s kid like your own borders on altruism. My mother’s friend married a man with a twelve year old daughter. After almost fourteen years of building their relationship, the daughter gets upset if the mother ever calls herself the step mom. “You’re my mother” she’ll insist. It’s so touching; my mother had tears in her eyes when she talked about this.
Another friend of my father adopted her three year old daughter. The little girl still had memories of her mother, and these memories stopped her from accepting her step mom immediately. And the mother, she was awesome. Winning over her daughter, getting her to love her back….wow . She persevered. She lived through it. She’s beautiful. And I absolutely adore her for her courage, and strength.
I want to adopt a kid someday. I am of the view that there are already so many children in this world who need the love and care of a family, and a home. Why not give one of those a life of meaning? Why not, seriously? There are so many children who deserve the best, and a little more. I want to give one of them what I got. I want to give one the best of love, education, family, peace and whatever else is possible. Yeah, I’m sixteen. That’s the joke actually.
But don’t be surprised if you meet me in ten years and introduce you to the world’s most beautiful kid. 🙂